All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
