his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
