I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
