do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
