I feel great
I just peed on a car
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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