the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
