I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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