i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
