Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
