so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
