the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
