so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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