just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
