We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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