Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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