My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need to align my fucking chakras
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
