used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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