I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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