I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
