bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
