yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
