I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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