And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
