I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
