This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
