we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
