FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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