This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
