Who did Billy Mays play for?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
