i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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