after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
