plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
