he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
