is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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