Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
