why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I want is dick and wine.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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