we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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