For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
