I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
