Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
