you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
