then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
