Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
