ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
