It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
