I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
