hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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