I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
