So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
