GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
