He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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