he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
